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If you’re reading this, chances are you have had an abortion.
If you had an abortion, you are not alone in your experience. Lots of women have abortions: women of all races, religions and sexual orientations and a wide range of ages, education and income. Abortion is one of the most commonly performed gynecological procedures in the US, where about 1.3 million are performed every year. Women have abortions for a number of different reasons, and while many women’s reasons are similar, each experience, just like each person, is unique.
You may experience a range of feelings after an abortion; this is entirely normal. Women often experience feelings such as sadness, happiness, empowerment, anxiety, grief, relief and/or guilt. There is no “right” way to feel. Feelings are different for everyone and they often change over time.
We know your abortion can be hard to talk about and that finding the right person to talk with can be even harder. If you are looking for ideas about how to talk with your friends or family, take care of yourself, get through this experience or find peace, Exhale can help.
:: If you’ve just had an abortion, it’s important to remember to take care of yourself, physically and emotionally, after the procedure is over. Make sure to get enough sleep, eat complete meals and do things you enjoy like going to the movies, spending time with friends or taking a walk. Calling Exhale can be a part of how you take care of yourself. Be sure to read and follow all the after-care guidelines from your abortion provider.
:: If some time has passed since your abortion, it’s never too late to find a way to express your feelings or talk with someone who listens. Many women have found writing about their experience, whether in a journal or as a letter, a helpful tool for working through their emotions. Calling the Exhale talkline, praying, cooking, making art, adopting a pet or climbing a mountain have been known to work as well. What’s important is that you find something that works for you, and that fits your life, beliefs and needs.
:: If you have been diagnosed, or have self-diagnosed, as having Post-Abortion Stress Syndrome, Exhale understands that having a name for what you’re feeling and experiencing can feel important. Many women find the experience of identifying with this syndrome as positive and affirming. It is also important to know that having feelings about a significant life event doesn’t mean that you have a major psychological condition that requires medical care. For many women, naming and expressing their emotions, and having the space and support to do so, can be more empowering than being identified as having a disorder. Whether or not you think you have PASS, the most important thing is that you get support for what you’re feeling, not what someone else thinks you should be feeling. Exhale trusts you to know what feels right for yourself.
Exhale follows the findings of the American Psychological Association, which has not found a link between feelings that follow an abortion and a psychological condition in need of medical care.
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Here are some additional resources that you might find useful:
Books:
::The Healing Choice: Your Guide to Emotional Recovery after an Abortion
Candace De Puy, Ph.D., M.S.W. and Dana Dovitch, PH.D., M.F.C.C., Simon & Schuster, 1997
::Experiencing Abortion: A Weaving of Women’s Words
Eve Kushner, Harrington Park Press, 1997
::Peace after Abortion
Ava Torre-Bueno, Pimpernel Press, 1997
Peace After Abortion website
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Websites:
If you are interested in reading the stories of other women who have experienced abortion, or sharing your own, Exhale recommends Our Truths.
:: The Pregnancy Options website includes helpful information about post-abortion feelings and some useful exercises to work through them.
:: The Hope Clinic offers many pamphlets on a range of issues for women and men after an abortion.
:: Peace After Abortion is a website designed for women hurting after an abortion.
:: Being at peace with choices is a guided imagery CD available for purchase.
:: Healthy coping after an abortion is a downloadable pdf available from the Abortion Conversation Project.
:: Imagine Counseling offers phone counseling after an abortion for a fee.
:: Project Voice is a oral history project documenting abortion stories. Read stories or share your own.
:: The Stacey Zallie Foundation is a web portal that offers faith-based and secular counseling referrals for women experiencing emotional pain after abortion.
:: Terra Wise does healing work with women and men post-abortion in Santa Barbara, California.
:: Inner Healing After Abortion is a booklet available for purchase.
:: Emerge: Sharing Our Voices, Supporting Our Choices is a new FREE post-abortion support group being offered in South Minneapolis.
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S. F. Bay Area Resources:
:: Ceremony for Children Who Have Died: Ceremony and ritual in the Buddhist practice for women and men.
:: SAND — Support After Neo-Natal Death: Support group for parents who have lost a baby through miscarriage,
stillbirth, death during or after birth, or genetic abortion. Call
Mark Claycomb at 415-522-7400
for the San Francisco Chapter. Call Betty Simpson at 510-204-1571 for
the East Bay Chapter.
:: Individual Therapy/Counseling: Please contact the Exhale office for referrals at 510-446-7900.
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Have you called the Exhale talkline? Do you want to make your voice heard? Find out about ways to Tell Your Story.
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